Story of my friends part.2

True Life Story Part 2

A snitch among the gods

            Snitch! Snitch!! Snitch!!!..., was the name ringing in the head of the gods? Rat been done dey the house and nobody been soji, the food dey short and the gist dey leak. Na 1 rat dey inform the demons since…BAD BELLE!! IT’S ALLOWED, IT’S ALLOWED, IT’S ALLOWED.

            Shoko don pieces, dey rest jeje when F.K carry some otes! enta Zanga. Demon Waz show, dey ask dem make dem identify themselves dem dey jonze. Before dem soji demself, heaven gate don lock and Devil and him agents don dey stroll enta.

            Meanwhile F.K don peel out free dem, Jaguda dey waka him own jeje na him F.K block am con clear am the matter. Jaguda based on who him be con run reach the gate of Heaven only to meet am locked…Wahala don set! Na so gbege start, as Devil and him agents show, na so Zeus’ thunderbholt, Hades’ pitchfork and Poseidon’s trident land for BaBa body.

Based on say na person God must use, one of Devil agent still ginger on Jaguda behalf before Jaguda fit comot from the zone. Only for BaBa to reach outside, sight SNITCH dey hide for Ikoro! e ba bo! Na the rat be that!!, Jaguda don catch am!

Meanwhile, Shoko and the otes don package enta Hell.

To be continued…

Dorti Alexis TosanHe

Story of my friends

Story of my friends

True life story

            E get 5 gods wey like to dey chill together; Jaguda (the guy like to dey do everything), Ture (the guy too like shayo), Kpoko (the guy dey burn anything), Doctor (the guy na walking chemist) and Shoko (the guy too like wahala and woman).

            Na so dem chop finish one day, Jaguda come cut eye for Ture and Kpoko say make dem go Jerry side go dey alright, Shoko sight dem come form busy body say him must follow. Dem ginger say na change dem wan go collect, him say him must follow.

            Na so dem enta Jerry corner dey feel alright while Shoko dey look like Muchi-Muchi! Ture come ginger am say if him take 1 swagga, him go bless am. Shoko like the mugu wey him be come fall based on say mugu must fall, him no know say na setup.

            Na so dem start to dey feed am Bullet and him dey hala MORE! Before dem know, Shoko don dey Swagga. Sharp Sharp dem carry BaBa put for head dey go back Heaven, for Heaven gate BaBa collapse na him Jaguda carry am like BaBy go put for Throne.

            Medina! Medina!! Na him BaBa dey shout.Sharp Sharp,Everybody Ball out. As dem show back,na hearsay dem hearsay devil and him demons come kidnap Shoko!...

                                                                                                            To be continued…

                                                                                                            Dorti Alexis Tosan

                       

            

Who you help?

Who you help?

Tell that man wey sitdown for there,who u help? Ask that man wey dey form chairman for there,who u help? Chairman wey no fit buy me can coke,who u help?

You iron your agbada on Friday dey spread like say na wings,who u help? You iron ur suit straight dey speak many many English,who u help? In the words of rick ross “how many people u bless,that’s how u measure success”

            Election come,you dey ginger for votes meanwhile since when u dey there,who u help? U enta lecture hall dey hala for students like say u swallow trumpet meanwhile ur second name na carry-over,who u help?u come campaign dey spread money dey give ur fellow party thugs to rig election for u when the average masses no be party members,who u help?

            Na only election time u dey remember say people fit chop rice and when u dey share am dem go fight belle full before dem collect,who u help? U sitdown for president seat dey give your fellow ijaw militants contracts up and down,who u help?

            Dem give u new office U say make people help u clean am,who u help? When u dey buy,u buy for me? When u dey pop champagne,u pop for me? U get Chairman U still dey trek,guy! go do Yahoo.when I see u,u want make I dey hail like cow,loyalty don dey turn job dey loyal till u get hunchback.

            U dey school dey form Boss meanwhile ur mama and papa dey stay thatch house for sabo gari*SmH* who u help? Na to dey abuse people rights wit ur big belle,who u help?

She’S

She’S

She’s awesome, chasing her is tiresome,

She carries an aura of grandeur,

Makes me think of her like the grand duchess,

My desperate attempts seem like a single failed attempt,

Still she makes me an attempt,

And at every attempt she keeps me tempted,

Expecting me to react like a violent tempest,

Complex it might seem,

I know she’s soft like a stream,

Which makes me never run out of steam,

I promise her, together we could be a team.

                                                                                                            DORTI ALEXIS TOSAN

A dreamless thought

                                    A dreamless thought

There’s a need,

Not just for speed,

But for seed,

Cos for some, Life is like a centipede,

Moments ago I felt the greed,

Definitely not for feed,

But for something more,

More like emotions without emoticons,

More like for implementations,

That could serve as inspiration,

That this government is not built on a foundation,

Of stinking corruption,

Or manipulation…of facts,

Or casts of who theif the money,

But as I wan sleep,

I come remember say na Naija I still dey.

                                                                                                            DORTI ALEXIS TOSAN

Who Gives A Fuck What A Hater Gotta Say?!

I'm Ray Charles to The BullShit!!!

Principals of Kings College

• 1909-1910| Mr Lomax
• 1910-1919| Mr H.J Hyde-Johnsons
• 1919-1925| Captain Harman
• 1926-1931| Rev J.W. Peacock
• 1931-1936| Mr J.N. Panes
• 1936-1947| Mr A.H. Cuft
• 1947-1948| Mr A.D. Porter
• 1949-1954| Mr J.R. Bunting
• 1954-1957| Mr W.A. Perkins
• 1957-1964| Mr P.H. Davies
• 1964-1968| Mr R.E.O Akpofure
• 1968-1975| Chief R.S.A. Agiobu-Kemmer
• 1975-1978| Mr M.O. Imana
• 1978-1985| Mr A.A. Ibegbulam
• 1985-1992| Mr S.O. Agun
• 1992-1994| Mr S.A. Akinruli
• 1995-to 2000| Mr S.I. Balogun

If You Know The Rest..Complete It Mentally......We Don't Want Any Attaches...Lol

Rules of Kings College

No roaming about in the dining hall during mealtimes.
Exceptions: Prefects and Form Six boys.

No walking across the pitch when no activities are taking place.
Exceptions: Prefects and Form Six boys; with suitable authorization.

No reserving of shares during meals, i.e. CLEAR ALL SHARES!
Exceptions: With suitable authorization.

No noise-making during prep.
Exceptions: None whatsoever.

No carrying of seniors' shares upstairs.
Exceptions: With suitable authorization.

No tearing gate.
Exceptions: Prefects and Form Six boys.

No scaling of walls, gates and fences.
Exceptions: None whatsoever.

No buying of goods over-the-wall or at kitchen gate.
Exceptions: Really, none whatsoever; unless sent by Prefect or Form Six boy.

No standing or walking about in class during prep.
Exceptions: None whatsoever.

Kuramo Beach sounded lyk Miami Beach 2 me back den in KC infact HollyWood d place whr everything gets down... ShoutOut 2 KC boiz dat lost deir Virginity 2 KB(Kuramo Beach)

I Don Tire<<<<

Been A Long Time

Twitter Eats Up All My time..So Also BBM.....Ahmadu Bello University Zaria Student and I'm Not Complaining(Half Bread is Better Than None)(@ All @ All Na hin Bad Pass).....Still With You In My Thoughts and Recollections..Only Yesterday was The Time of Our Lives....The Surprise of Our Glory Days.....Is This Love That I'm feeling?..She doubts IT so Do I....I Really don't Want It But I Breathe For The MoMent....I'll Never forget y'all.

Jigga and Yezzy

Production Credits: Kanye West & Jay-Z “Watch The Throne”

   1. No Church In The Wild (Feat. Frank Ocean) (Prod. By Kanye West, Mike Dean & Ken Lewis)
   2. Lift Off (Feat. Beyoncé) (Prod. By Kanye West, Mike Dean, Jeff Bhasker, Q-Tip & Don Jazzy) (Add Vocals. By Seal, Mr Hudson, Don Jazzy, Bankulli and Ricardo Louis)
   3. Niggas In Paris (Produced by Hit-Boy)
   4. Otis (Feat. Otis Redding) (Produced by Kanye West)
   5. Gotta Have It (Produced by The Neptunes)
   6. New Day (Produced by The RZA)
   7. That’s My Bitch (Produced by Q-Tip & Kanye West)
   8. Who Gon Stop Me (Produced by Sham “Sak Pase” Joseph & Kanye West)
   9. Murder To Excellence (Produced by Swizz Beatz & S1)
  10.  Welcome To The Jungle (Produced by Swizz Beatz)
  11. Made In America (Feat. Frank Ocean) (Produced by Sham “Sak Pase” Joseph) [previously Sweet Baby Jesus]
  12. Why I Love You (Feat. Mr Hudson) (Produced by Mike Dean & Kanye West)
  13. Illest Motherfucker Alive (Produced by Southside & Kanye West)
  14.  H•A•M (Produced by Lex Luger and Kanye West)
  15. Primetime (Produced by No I.D.)
  16. The Joy (Feat. Curtis Mayfield)

Made in Naija

The federal government is sending each of us a N60, 000 rebate.
If we spend that money at Shop-rite,
the money goes to China.
If we spend it on fuel it goes to the Arabs.
If we buy a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the Nigerian economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on Mama -put, Nkwobi, Soldier Root, Peppersoup, Opa-eyin, Jedi, Juju, Monkeytail, Isi-Ewu, Beer and Prostitutes, since these are the only products still produced in Nigeria....... Lol

Love Part.2

Love is Blind

Love is like a deadly shore that never kills

Love is soft and gentle

Therefore,love me not for comely grace

Nor for my pleasing eye for fave

Also not constant heart for may fail or turn to ill

Love

she had no right to treat me the way she did,
i was in love with her but she was in with another kid,
the last time we met,
we left,
parting with a kiss,
while i was stuck with a round ugly fat fuck up,
with whom i was set up,
she was wit a guy straight from childhood to their breakup,
who up til now doesnt want to tell me wats up,
sometime i think over it and look up,
cos this is a true story i am pouring straight onto my laptop,


cos when i reminisce over them I SMILE.

It's Only 4 while

When things are no longer easy,when life turns inside out,

when all you do just seems to make you cry or shout,

Stop a moment and think for a while.



If needs,call again but do not give up because whatsoever has a beginning must surely have an end.

15 dumb quotes of George .W. Bush

1.The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.
-That's why they are fucking called imports.

2.If we don't succeed,we run the risk of failure.
-This man dey listen to himself.

3.One word sums up probably the responsibility of any governor and that one word is"to be prepared"
-ain't those three words.

4.I have made good judgments in the past.I have made good judgments in the future.
-If you have already done it,isn't it also the past.

5.The future will be better tomorrow.
-No,the future should have been better yesterday.

6.We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.
-No na intelligent Cubans you 4 get.

7.I stand by all the mistatements that i've made.
-wait.wait.I wan help you stand.

8.We have a firm commitment to Nato,we are a part of Nato.We have a firm commitment to Europe,We are apart of Europe.
-Which part of America is in Europe Please.

9.Public speaking is very easy.
-Na hin you dey fuck up like this.

10.A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
-No,it's a sign that fewer are rising from the dead.

11.I have opinions of my own-strong opinions-but i don't always agree with them.
-No wonder America kept going down under par,The president didn't even agree with himself.

12.We are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur.
-And they say 2face cannot speak English.

13.For Nasa,space is still a high priority.
-it's their only job.FOOL.

14.Quite frankly,teachers are the only professionals that teach our children.
-Fool cos That's what they paid to do.

15.It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
-Wat's the difference?Duh.
20-1-09.Celebrating the end of an "Era" sorry ERROR


If Bush is as stupid as this,Please kindly imagine how Obasanjo will be.I am coming up with his own.

Teenage Pregnancy.

"At 16 what a beautiful thing

The very essence of a jet black ebony queen

And who could tell she would get pregnant at an early age

She didn't listen,had sex

Watch her belly raise

Got violated by someone she dated

If this is fate I hate to see the seed she created

So we wait,though it takes time to build the body and the mind

She reclines 9 months

Then finally it's time

What do we find?

A little grown boy a mind with a tortured soul

Addicted to a life of crime at no time of the growing stage

He learned his values on the streets at an early age

Watch for police

Don't come home

'Coz mammas acting crazy"-"Mama's Just A Little Gjrl"







Dedicated to all the Guyz dat won't leave small girls alone.

Leave the small gurls alone so u no go born pikin wey go enta street cos she no go gree abort.

The Movie Heat

When They Meet For The First Time.



Al Pacino To De Niro.

You Sir are a Bad Guy,I'm The Police.It's My Job To stop Guys Like You Murderers,Rapists,Killers.It's what I do.
There May come a time when Our Paths Cross,I might take you down I won't like It but I do it,Keeps Me Hot on my Toes for I got to Bail.






De Niro Tells Al Pacino

You know There is a Flipside to that coin,
A Good Friend of mine Jimmy Starks once told Me
"Never get attached to anything You cannot walk out on in 15 seconds If you spot the Heat coming around the Corner.
And I also like Guys like You that like Guys like Me cos You keep Me hot on My Toes Cos I got to Bail.
You are Right Our Paths They may Cross,I might have to take You Down But I will not...........Hesitate.

For all Harry Potter Fans.Which Book was These Written In.

Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed,
For those who take, but do not earn,
Must pay most dearly in their turn.
So if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware
Of finding more than treasure there.